I am just filled to the brim with gas today, I have no idea how I'm not making an ass out of myself here at work. I don't know how many more times I can go to the washroom to fart before it starts making the transition from being inconspicuous to RED FLAG ALERT: She's going to the bathroom AGAIN within a 10 minute interval!

And for some reason I am reminded of my mother's favourite expression:

You're just a fart in a windstorm...

Indeed, I am.